Another Suitcase…
July 13, 2010 by Technominx · Leave a Comment
I met L for coffee the other day and she asked me since I wasn’t blogging, was I writing at all? I was somewhat surprised that the answer was no. Partly this is because of time. My schedule is somewhat in a state of flux at the moment as I learn how to fit in all the elements of my life. But partly it’s because of the public nature of my blog. I feel overlooked. This is not a sensation that has ever really bothered me before. I am usually comfortable living on the outside of my skin. However I am conscious of making others uncomfortable if I am as frank here as I like to be.
L was right though. I do need to write. I have organised my thoughts on paper – or online – for so long that I don’t really know another way to work through them. I have never had to search for an alternative as writing is highly effective for me.
It does help to explain how I managed to get myself in such knots about work, and how I got myself in trouble there.
In brief, I have not been working as well or as proactively as I could have been. I have let myself down and my new team. My probation has therefore been extended, and my boss man was totally right to do that. My head has been well and truly up my own arse.
As it happens since the conversation work has been much, much better. I have been throwing myself into the various ongoing projects and enjoying myself much more than I thought I would. Clearly I needed the slap around the face. I think I was resentful of having to work full time for 1000′s of pounds less that I earned when working part time….
I have now officially sucked it up.
I feel much better for it!
Anyway I suppose the long and short is that although I will continue to post, I am also planning on going back to a paper journal. Just to chronicle accurately this very new period of my life. This is too public a forum for my current internal monologue. As I work though things, I can come out with some pretty far out thoughts….thoughts that don’t come to anything and are only touched up on for a fraction of a second…but thoughts that have the capacity to hurt and confuse other people.
I went to see Eclipse last night.
My mother taught me that if you can’t say anything nice you shouldn’t say anything at all…. However….I think I have to. It was really quite pants.
I will admit that it is my least favourite of the books. I will also admit that I didn’t particularly like the other 2 movies the first time I saw them. They improved on re-watching for me. This one though made me feel cross. I felt the audience was being sharply short changed.
I know this is a somewhat teenaged target audience and that the real fans of the books are very passionate about the franchise and will be loyal to it no matter what, but there is no excuse for shoddy film making techniques.
There was a LOT of blue screen in the movie. It was everywhere. Now I am a girl that likes her special effects. I am happy for you to use CGI to depict fantastical locations or to create a unique type of movement for the Vampiric characters. You need it for the wolves….but blue screening in a snow covered woodland background is just f’ing cheap. Plus the work on the wolves was horrible.
Enough said. I don’t wish to spend any more time dwelling on it than I have to….. Grrr….
Been spending as much time with CJ as possible. To be honest every second of every day probably wouldn’t be enough! I am not letting myself physically move in so once again I’m kind of living out of a travel bag. It’s the only way I can stop myself from making the future start now. I know that I need a little more time if my head is going to catch up with the rest of me. To be honest. It’s already happening. I left being scared behind some time ago. I am starting to trust the way we feel.
She says and writes the most amazing things to me. She wraps me up in the love she has for me and takes me to a whole new level of happy. I hope to hell I can do at least half as much for her. The rest of my thoughts on this subject are going to be for my new journal though. ;-D
OK. Enough for now.
I have many things to be doing.
Blessed Be.
